Scratch the Resolutions and Set some Goals!

Do you make New Year’s Resolutions every year? Do you find that by February, or even Jan 10th, you’ve given up? There’s a good reason why resolutions don’t work… A resolution is defined as a “formal expression of opinion or intention made.” It’s a wish - what you want to happen, how you want to be different, what you hope to accomplish in your life over the next year.

While it’s true that in order to change your life, you first have to decide that you are willing to change (make a resolution), but if you don’t have a plan behind that decision, you have no way of knowing how to get there, nor will you be able to measure whether or not you have reached your goal or even progressed.

This year, why not set goals? Real goals. Goals that matter. Goals are not just a wish, but they are backed by a plan. When you put a plan behind your wish, you can determine the steps necessary to reach your goal, and whether or not you achieved your goal.

Get out a pen & paper and start writing…
1. State your goal.
This is your resolution. This is what you want to change or hope to accomplish.

2. Determine your starting point.
If you don’t know where you are starting from, then where will you start from? If your goal is weight loss, you need to step on the scale. If your goal is debt freedom, you need to know how much debt you have. A guess will NOT work here. If you aren’t willing to make the effort to find out where you currently are, then you won’t be willing to make the effort to reach the goal either.

3. Set a date
What is the time frame in which you want to accomplish the goal? Many of the goals we set this time or year are annual goals, so most of our “dates” are Dec. 31st. However, if you want to go on vacation in June, your “date” should be prior to June.

4. Divide your goal up and decide what you need to do TODAY.
If you want to lose 50 pounds by Dec. 31st…that’s almost 1 pound per week…that’s 1/7 of a pound per day. Once you have a specific (daily) goal, you can hold yourself accountable for each choice you make…to exercise or not to exercise…to eat the cookie or have an apple instead. Daily goals are much easier to focus on because you know what you need to do at every choice to get there. And if you blow it today, you get to start over tomorrow!

One of mine & Nathan’s favorite date nights of the year is our January date. We review our goals from the previous year and see how we did. We don’t ever reach all of our goals, but we reach some and we always progress! Then we talk about our dreams and get to set new goals for the new year. (BTW – one of our goals every year is date night…when we don’t make it a priority, we forget to date each other).

What are your dreams? Where do you hope to be next year? What can you accomplish? Why not set some real goals? Why not spend the energy to figure out how you can reach the goals? Why not you? Why not now? Wouldn’t you like to look back next December and see the progress you’ve made? You really can change your life, stop making excuses and start today!

Shared from thoughtsfromfreedomfinancial.blogspot.com Jan 2, 2013
http://thoughtsfromfreedomfinancial.blogspot.com/2013/01/scratch-resolutions-and-set-goals.html

Why don’t we do Santa? Well, since you asked…

First, let me encourage you to not take offense at what I’m about to say. We don’t judge you if you don’t agree or have a different view point, as most people don’t agree with us. However, these are OUR convictions, and for that, we will not apologize.

Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, the Christ…We believe that Santa is a distraction from the true meaning of Christmas. For example, when you offer a child the choice of interest between a bright red fat man with flying reindeer who gives them shiny toys vs. a humble baby, the obvious choice is Santa. We do however, tell them about the real person of “Santa” – about his generosity and giving to those less fortunate.

Next, the truth is…Santa is not real. Nor is the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Shrek, Tinkerbell, or Captain America. At the end of the day, if I tell my child that Santa (or Spiderman) is real and he is not, I have not told the truth. We hold integrity VERY highly in our family and believe that agreeing to participate in this fantasy, does not line up with our values.

Personally, as a child, I can remember having friends that get more than me from Santa, specifically friends who behaved worse than me.  I can remember wondering what was wrong with me...after all, wasn't GOOD behavior what got Santa to come?  While this is obviously a selfish reason, I can tell you that it did not help my self-esteem, even as a little girl…  And anyway, isn't the unique thing about a gift the fact that it isn't earned, that it's given?

Further, we believe that the idea of Santa furthers the extreme commercialism and entitlement mentality in our culture. Kids write letters to Santa – who often brings the biggest gift – and this is what they look forward to at CHRISTmas…the gifts they get…getting what they want. Not only does Santa easily appear to kids as more exciting than the fact the the God of the universe left heaven to be born into this world so that He could save us, but Santa easily becomes more exciting than giving, serving, and being with family.

So, we aren’t crazy…we may be unconventional, but we are ok with that! We firmly believe that our job as parents is to empower our children and to instill them with the values and qualities that we believe are important – and the bottom line is…Santa doesn’t line up with or fit into our value system.

Merry Christmas!


Shared from thoughtsfromfreedomfinancial.blogspot.com  Nov, 27, 2012
http://thoughtsfromfreedomfinancial.blogspot.com/2012_11_01_archive.html

Of course I can help you...as long as you are coachable...

The only people I can’t help are people who are NOT coachable.  If you are not ready to stop making excuses for your financial problems, then I’m not your gal. You have to be willing to stop doing what you are currently doing and commit to change.  Change isn’t easy.  Change isn’t fun – but my goodness folks, being broke isn’t fun either!

You see, I know you are struggling.  I know you look around and wonder what you’re doing wrong.  I know at tax time you look at your return and say “Wow!  I made this much money and have nothing to show for it!  Why do I still feel broke?”  I know that if you feel good about your financial situation that you are in the minority.  We don’t plan ahead.  We don’t accept responsibility for our choices, nor are we accountable for them.  We use emotions as financial decision makers instead of math.  We expect our personal finances to be easy without having to put any effort into it.

Most people feel this financial pressure and can’t figure out why.  I know why.  We are American and we are entitled – we deceive ourselves into believing that it’s ok to have what we want, when we want it.  And then when we feel the pressure, we again deceive ourselves into believing that the “fix” should be easy too.

Here’s the truth.  There’s no magic.  There’s no get-rich-quick.  There’s no secret formula.  There’s no fail-proof investment.  There’s none of that.  It’s not easy, at least not at first.  Sometimes there are things you will sacrifice, sometimes it will hurt a little, and sometimes it can hurt a lot.  This is all ok.  It is ok to tell ourselves NO, in fact, it is necessary. 

When someone says “If I just had more money, THEN I would…” they are deceiving themselves.  The truth is, if you had more money, you would do with it exactly what you currently do with the money you already have, just in a larger quantity.  A person making $20,000/year has the same problem as a person making $200,000/year.  Your payments and obligations are just proportionate to the size of your income.   If you already save, you’ll save more.  If you already pay extra toward your debt, you’ll pay more.  If you spend everything you make, you’ll spend more.  This is how people win millions of dollars from the lottery and end up broke – because their financial behavior doesn’t change.

If you are broke and you are coachable, I can help you.  You see, there are some strategies and there are some tools.  Some were created out of necessity to remedy our own screw-ups and some out of necessity to remedy the screw-ups of others.  You get to choose whether you live a life of financial brokenness or a life of financial freedom.  Choose your behavior wisely!

I can't get rid of these last 30lbs - no matter what I try!

When people ask me how I stay thin, I always start by telling them about this:
I read a book a few years ago that changed my life – mostly in the area of health / weight loss, but it applies to anything. I had been carrying around an extra 30lbs or so since the birth of my first child that I just “could NOT get rid of no matter what I tried.”

In Andy Stanley’s book, The Principle of the Path, he states that “Direction – not intention – determines our destination.” Here’s my paraphrase: The destination (goal) I wanted was weight loss. My intention was weight loss, but my direction (the daily choices I made) were not on the path that led to weight loss. When I chose to eat brownies and chips instead of apples and almonds, I was choosing the direction toward maintaining the extra weight, even though my intention was to lose the weight.

Understanding this helped me see each choice as, well – a choice. I began to understand that every choice mattered…each choice had a consequence. Eating an apple leads to weight loss. Eating a brownie leads to no weight loss. I had a choice.

As I began to take responsibility for my choices, I began to make wise choices more often. I was accountable for each choice I made – no one else was…not even the screaming baby. Each healthy choice I made, led me down the path of health. Each unhealthy choice I made, led me down the path of, well, un-health.

When every choice counts – you can’t start tomorrow, you can’t “blow it” for the day, you can only “blow it” for that choice. Each choice is a new choice, a new chance to make the wise choice. If you eat a brownie and “blow it” you can then choose to eat another one, or to not eat another one. If you choose not to exercise today, you don't have to make that same choice tomorrow, or even this afternoon.  One unwise choice does not negate your responsibility for the next choice.

This applies to anything – not just food and weight loss. It applies to any area of your life, even to your finances (don’t get me started!!). Every choice you make, every minute of every hour of every day, has a consequence. If you want to change your life, you have to make different choices – you have to choose different behavior. It’s not always easy – but nothing worth having is easy! The more often you choose the wise choice, the closer you become to your destination.

When you stop making excuses for your problems (extra weight) and take responsibility for your choices (food and exercise), you will begin to see change and make progress. And yes, sometimes I still chose the brownie – but I also accept the consequences for that choice. And because my goal is to be a healthy weight (destination), I make intentional choices every day (direction), all day long, in order to stay on the path that will lead me to, and maintains a healthy weight.

You have a choice to make. You alone are responsible for that choice. Will you make the choice (direction) that will lead you to your goal (destination)? Or will you make another excuse? Will you stay stuck where you are and make excuses to why you can’t change? Or will you take responsibility for your life?

Your diet doesn’t start on Monday. Changing your life starts TODAY!!!


From: http://thoughtsfromfreedomfinancial.blogspot.com/2013/01/what-happened-to-30lbs-that-i-just.html 1/08/13

Trading My Debt For Peace

God used Leslie Sweet to change my family’s lives.  Here’s our story.   While most are feeling the effects of a bad economy, our family is as well.  Since I’ve always been the one “in charge” of making sure our bills were paid, I was especially feeling overwhelmed by trying to figure out how to do so.   Actually, “overwhelmed” seems like an understatement of how I was really feeling.  I was becoming “obsessed” and “constantly worried” about the lack of money to pay our bills.  I started praying about our situation and almost, if not every time, the Lord would bring Leslie to mind.  But in my pride, there was no way I was going to go to my niece, who was much younger than me, and a much better financial planner, and reveal to her my daily struggles with our finances.  That would have been way to embarrassing.    But, because the Lord loves his children more than any of us can comprehend, He kept on pressing me to call Leslie.  Now, I’ve been serving the Lord for a very long time, and I know that when He’s speaking to my heart to do something, it’s ALWAYS in my best interest to do it.  So, I called Leslie and told her we needed her help.  The peace I had after I made that call told me I’d made the right decision.  And from that day forward, I knew the Lord would use Leslie’s talents to not only help us with our finances, but to bring glory to Him.  It’s always about Him!!! 

After my husband and I spent a few months with Leslie, it completely turned our financial situation around.  Do we still struggle from time to time?  Absolutely.  And I’ll admit there were some times that I felt mad because I couldn’t afford the things I thought I deserved after working all these years.  But again the Lord, thru Leslie, taught me that life is not about material things.  And when I finally accepted that, the peace that I now have on a daily basis, doesn’t even compare to any material thing I could buy.  When I started focusing on the blessings in my life, spending time with my family, friends, good health, etc., the material things didn’t even matter anymore.  There are many times I still choose not to buy something I think I’d like to have, simply because I choose to have peace of mind over being in debt.  It’s worth so much more to me.

Our finances aren’t always perfect because “life happens”.  But the big difference is, because of Leslie’s guidance, we now have a financial plan and goals. And we’ve learned how to rethink about the way we handle our money.

Leslie Sweet is a very talented financial planner.  What stands out most to me about her is the fact that she lives what she teaches.  And she is living proof that taking responsibility for the money God has blessed us with is important and has many good returns.

Even though we don’t meet with Leslie anymore, God still uses her by bringing her to mind whenever I’m making a financial decision and I remember all that she’s taught us and how far we’ve come.

If you are struggling with finances, I would highly recommend you contact Leslie.  Not because she’s my niece, but because she could potentially change your life.  I know she changed ours!
 

Why is my lender making this so hard on me?

Our home mortgage loan was recently sold to a new lender.  Last week I got online to create an account so that I could make the payment – and that’s when the frustrations began. 

Thursday Aug 29^th

I created an account on their website, but then couldn’t find a way to make my mortgage payment without using a credit card issued by their bank, and I didn’t want to do that.  I finally found the separate mortgage link that I had to create an additional online account for.  Since it was late that night and I was tired, I decided not to make the payment then because I was lazy and didn’t want to walk across the house to get the checkbook…besides, I wrote down all my passwords and such.

Friday Aug 30^th

The next day I got back online to make my payment.  I was able to log in and see my account.  I was then able to select the home mortgage link which would allow me to make my payment.  Unfortunately, I could NOT get in to that part of the site.  In fact, I tried so many times that it locked me out of the system.  I then went through the necessary steps to reset my password, and by the time all this was done, I needed to be off to take care of other things, but I had my password reset and made sure I had it written down.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday – Labor Day

Tuesday Sept 3^rd
I try to make the payment again and the same thing happens – I can’t get into the mortgage side of the site.  So I call the number…you know, the “help-line” where you never get talk to a person, nor can you ever find what you’re looking for…yea, I did that.  Then I decided I would just pay the thing over the phone – until I learned that there was a $15 fee to do so.  Uuuhhhh, no! – Especially since I had spent close to 2 hours trying to get this done over the past few days.

Wednesday, Sept 4^th

I take my payment  to the post office and mail it certified mail so that I’ll know that they got it.  It still cost me $3.56 but I decided this was the best option – the best and cheapest way to PROVE that I made my payment, and that I did so “on time.”

This whole thing made me so frustrated.  I mean, there I was, doing the right thing, I even tried paying it EARLY.  I start thinking things like “why does this have to happen right now?” and “It’s not like I don’t have a million other things to get done” and “this is so unfair!”  and “why is this happening to me?”  and many other forms of “waaa waaa waaa” 

And then I remember…this isn’t “happening to me.”  This is not a random test of life.  This is not an attack of the enemy.  This is merely a consequence of a choice we made.  We chose to go into debt to live in our home.  We know that God said that the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.  We are slave to our mortgage lender.  Sometimes the consequences of our choices cause extra stress in our lives.  God said we would become slaves if we went into debt.  We chose debt.  We chose the consequences – in this case, the extra stress.

I’m not saying we should have waited until we had enough cash to pay for this house before we bought it – that is a lot of money – I’m just saying we need to accept responsibility for the consequences of our choices.  I’m saying that I need to shut up and stop complaining that my lender isn’t fair.  I need to put my big girl pants on and deal with it, and if we want to avoid this stress in the future, then we will get out of debt. 

Losing Sleep Over Debt

I met with a client last week, who I have been meeting with for about 3 months now. When I first met her, she was late on several of her debts and monthly bills and felt tremendous pressure from her creditors. She also had several large expenses coming up that were causing her additional stress. This is what she told me when I met with her last week...

 

She said she no longer dreads getting out of bed to face the pile of bills. She no longer stresses when her phone rings and the number is unidentified, because she knows she is current on everything. She said that when the her lights flicker, she knows it's something to do with the electricity because she knows she paid the utility bill, in full, on time.

 

I mean, I knew that I could make a difference in someone's financial world. I know that what I teach works, because it's what I do in my own life. I guess it never occurred to me that my coaching would help my clients sleep better at night. What an incredible blessing to get to be a part of someone else's change for the better!



January 14, 2011 http://thoughtsfromfreedomfinancial.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-met-with-client-last-week-who-i-have.html

Is hiring a debt coach good for your marriage?

I met with a client today who I have been working with for just over a month. We are so excited about their progress. When I first spoke with them, they were behind on several things and were additionally incurring NSF fees from their bank and were utilizing the cash advance place. Today they are caught up on everything (except for 1 which will be paid to current next week). They also have a little money saved and have not accrued any more debt. They have paid cash for birthday festivities for one of them and been able to start tithing again. By November, we should have their first debt completely paid off as well as over $500 in their Emergency Fund. And then in December, they will pay cash for Christmas! While all of this is very exciting to me, it isn’t even the best part…


She told me that while having a conversation with her husband about their money, something came up that, in the past, had triggered a “huge fight.” She said that this time, they shrugged a little, decided to do better in the future, and moved on. Because they now had a plan and were taking control of their money, something that used to make them fight, no longer did, they were able to just move on from it!

Now, I am by no means a marital counselor, but knowing that the most frequent reason given for divorce is money, I can’t tell you how excited it makes my heart that this couple now has the skills and support to communicate & be on the same page about something that used to make them fight!

I am so humbled that they have chosen me to help them!

 

September 29, 2011  http://thoughtsfromfreedomfinancial.blogspot.com/2011/09/is-hiring-debt-coach-good-for-your.html

Dear Discover Card... No Thanks!

Dear Leslie M Sweet,

You never know when unexpected expenses may arise, so it’s good to have credit available to back you up. As a reminder, your Discover card has a credit line of $6,300.

This is the beginning of a letter I got the other day from Discover Card. The truth is, I don’t know when unexpected expenses may arise, and it is good to have something to back me up, but AVAILABLE CREDIT is not what is GOOD to have to back me up. What is GOOD to have as a back-up is an EMERGENCY FUND!!

The other truth is, that until I had an emergency fund, my available credit WAS my emergency fund. While I cannot predict WHEN an emergency will arise, I can predict that one will. My chances of an unexpected expense arising in the next 12 months is about 99.99%. The chances that I'm saving for that unknown event: 100%

So while I do have $6,300 available to me in available credit, I also have an emergency fund. Even though credit is available to me, I will do everything in my power to not accrue more debt. I just don’t think God was kidding when He said that the borrower is slave to the lender and I refuse to willingly enslave myself to Discover Card – or anyone else for that matter. I just don’t know how I can live a life that honors God when I willingly put others in front of Him.

Dear Discover Card,... No Thanks!

April 14, 2011

http://thoughtsfromfreedomfinancial.blogspot.com/2011/04/dear-discover-card-no-thanks.html

When God speaks through a 6yr old

From 2/15/13:
http://thoughtsfromfreedomfinancial.blogspot.com/2013_02_01_archive.html

I recently sat down with my son and told him the story of Caleb (from the Bible) again. I reminded him how God told the people (in Numbers 13) that He is going to give them the land of Canaan, so they should send out spies to check out the land. 12 men go out and return with mostly the same report. The land was flowing with milk & honey (good) however the city has huge barriers and the people who live in it are giants (bad). 10 of those 12 men told Israel that they couldn’t do it – it seemed too hard, with the giants and walls and such…But Caleb said: “We should by all means go up and take possession of it, for we will surely overcome it.”
You see, Caleb saw the walls and the giants too - he wasn’t blind. But, Caleb believed God when He said that He was giving them the land. Caleb knew that giants and walls were no match for our God. Caleb probably didn’t know at that point HOW God would give them the land, but He knew God would – because He said He would.

I love to tell my Caleb that God is going to use him to do great things too…that when all of the people in his life say that something is too hard or scary, that he too, will trust God, and by all means, overcome it!

And then, without even knowing it, my precious little boy, spoke courage into my life... Several weeks ago, I told Caleb about DDB ceasing operations. He looked up at me and said “So, who will help people get out of debt? And just a few seconds later, after deep (for a 6yr old) thought he said: Mom, you can just make up your own company!” He doesn’t understand all the giants and walls that I now face, but he knows that with God, by all means, I will surely overcome them.

I don’t know what giants or walls you are facing in your life today, but even a 6yr old knows that with God, you CAN, by all means, surely overcome them.

I'm not so special...

In the wake of this new business venture, I am continually, just absolutely humbled by the amount of support we are receiving.   I can assure you that every single time I learn that God has used me to touch, change, or challenge someone’s life, it stirs up something wild inside me.  I cannot express to you the sense of overwhelming responsibility & excitement that I have to keep going…to keep helping people take control of their money.

It always amazes me that people actually take the time to listen to what I have to say or read my blog…at the end of the day, I’m just a mom who struggles to do the best she can for her kids.  I’m just a wife trying be the champion for her husband.  I’m just a friend trying to love those who will let me.  I’m just a coach trying to push people to do better.  I don’t have any distinctive qualities that make me better or more talented than anyone else – in fact, I feel like I actually lack some of the social qualities that it takes to “make it” in the business world.

Despite all of the commonness that entails me, I choose to serve a God who is everything that I am not, and more.  I believe that He has ordained my days.  I believe He gave me the exact qualities that He meant for me to have, so that I could fulfill the purpose that He set before me.  I believe that His plans for me are for my good.  I don’t expect my life to be easy, but I do believe that I can trust Him when life is hard, as well as when it’s good.  I trust that He is using me to do great things. 

I don’t think He has positioned me to change the financial world, but I am confident that He has gifted me to change the financial world of a few families.  I am praying to add 2 new families this month that  are looking to learn how to live in financial freedom.  I don’t have any tricks up my sleeve, but I can teach you how to roll your sleeves up, take control, and change your financial life.

"I am doing a great work..."

This is from my dear friend Marta's blog several years ago.  I shared this with a friend facing a tough decision, so I thought I'd share it with you as well.

 

I just finished listening to an amazing series of Podcasts. I downloaded Andy Stanley's message series, Discovering God's Will. Andy is the senior pastor of Northpoint Community Church in Alpharetta, GA. Evan and I have read several of his books and our small group has done several of his studies. (I highly recommend his book, The Best Question Ever.) I finished the last message in Discovering God's Will on Tuesday while I cleaned the house. It's not often that I get choked up while vacuuming, but that's what happened. Here are a few things that jumped out at me:

* He talked about Vision. His illustration was the picture on the box of a puzzle. Without that picture, it's hard to put the pieces together. In our lives when we ask God for that big picture vision (what is my marriage supposed to look like, what is my relationship with my kids supposed to look like, what are my finances supposed to look like, what are my friendships supposed to look like), it makes our day-to-day decision making much easier.

* He preached from a passage in Nehemiah. Nehemiah was hard at work on the walls of Jerusalem when his enemies sent letters requesting a meeting. Over and over he rejected them saying, "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down." Meaning - "I have a vision for this project. I am focused on this and I will not let you distract me."

* Andy Stanley and his wife quote that verse (6:3) often as they decide what to do/what not to do; what to say yes to/what to say no to. Andy also shares a letter from a woman in his church that said no to an amazing job opportunity so she could focus on raising her daughter. When she said no to the job, she hung up the phone and said aloud, "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down."

I got choked up as I listened because as much as I miss doing a job that I loved and I was good at, the time when Kate is young is short and I know, "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down."

New Name, New Blog...what's going on?

Up until recently I have been doing business as Freedom Financial, and I was partnered with Dano's Debtbusters (DDB) as the company from which I offered most of my financial coaching products.  In December of 2012 I was informed that DDB was ceasing operations.  (You can read about that here:  http://thoughtsfromfreedomfinancial.blogspot.com/2012/12/what-happened-last-week.html  )

From that decision, I decided that I would continue to do what I was already doing.  Since that time I have continued to help the clients that I was already helping. After much consideration, I have chosen to legally change the name of my company.  L. Sweet Coaching will encompass all the services that I have offered previously, as well as some additional coaching services that I plan to offer in the future.  I decided to take "financial" out of the name becuase some of the future coaching services I plan to offer, are not financial services.

I have spent the last 6 months thinking through how my business would look.  The truth is, right now my family needs most of my time, and my new found love for Zumba takes up a lot of hours in a week as well.  What I still know is that God has called me to help people with their money, and as long as there is a family out there that needs my help, coaching them is what I'll do.  I don't intend to coach 20 families at a time, but I can take on a few more and still have the balance I need in my life.

Thank you for your continued love, prayers, and support of me, my family, and my business!